Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Five heartbreakingly annoying gamer habits







Here's a collection of things said and done by gamers that makes me want to spew my heart out and depart from this earth.




NUMBA FIVE: 'BROWN SHOOTERS OR GTFO'

A brown shooter is one of which (A) Has no other combat elements but shooting (B) Has the typical Afghanistan colour scheme and (C) Has as much story as bit of dandruff that just fell from your scalp. I just can't stand a game as boring as these, especially since we have the technology to blow minds with more than the FX for a basic explosion, SO WHY DO THESE TWITS INSIST ON ONLY 
PLAYING THIS SHIT?




NUMBA FOUR: 'DIS GAME IS SHIT BR0, IT HAS NO ONLINE PLAY'

Okay so, couple of things people also need to get straight. NOT EVERY GAME NEEDS ONLINE PLAY CAPABILITY. Are you forgetting the whole last generations of consoles? Are you forgetting actually meeting up with friends for a beer and some split screen action?! ARE YOU FORGETTING GOLDENEYE? Stop being morons and by games for something else other than being able to chat each other up down a microphone that cost you most than a months pocket money.
Why not pop round to a friends for some multilayer in future?



NUMA THREE: 'N00B'

Yeah, I'm being that guy, I can't stand this whole 'I JUST PWNED THAT N00B' lingo. Just because someone hasn't clocked up 100 hours on Call Of Duty doesn't mean you're king shit. BET YOU CAN'T FINISH FINAL FANTASY 7.



NUMBA TWO: 'MY CONSOLE IS BETTER' (The fanboy wars)'

There is nothing more annoying than seeing sprawled all over the internet, people insisting that one console is better than another console, due to the calculated power. WELL GUESS WHAT? I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, I COULD BE PLAYING A GAME ON A PHILIPS CD-I AND IF ITS GOOD, I'LL SAY IT'S GOOD. Instead of touching your unmentionables while arguing your point out for your favourite console, why don't you accept that some people have PS3, some people have Wii, some people have Xbox 360 AND IF YOU'VE REALLY GOT THE MONEY TO POUR INTO IT SOME OF US HAVE A PC CAPABLE OF HD GAMING. It almost feels like people arguing about console power are trying to compensate for something, which is funny because I know an awful lot of girl PC games/ (Laugh, it was funny)




and finally number one, the one thing that makes my brain come out my arse, the one thing that people should just stop doing.

NUMBA ONE: 'OMG NEW PS4 LOOKS SHIT'

Xbox 720... PS4... As soon as I see these words, I close over my laptop, walk to the shower and sit in it crying over how ridiculous people are being. Let me put this into a logical perspective... say I was going to predict the design of a new Ford car and I persistently wrote about this car on the internet, talking about how powerful it is, how much more powerful it will be than other cars however, I then say 'It's ashame it has no doors, the new Ford will also have no wheels, I'm not sure how it will travel'. WHAT A BIG LOAD OF SHIT. I feel I'm going to have to state the obvious, IF YOU DIDN'T HEAR AN EXACT FACT ABOUT A CONSOLE FROM THE CREATORS, DON'T BROADCAST RUMOURS.





I'm off to play something with a lot of violence.
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